i think there was intentionality behind that lyric from sabrina's side? like it clearly comes off as satirical to me...like she's making fun of how we (as a society) "choose to blame his mom"
Agree! She’s pretty clever with how she interrogates these things. Also, it simply wouldn’t make sense for her to mean it literally given the context of the song as a whole.
i get people's point that the lyric is satire, but agree that it's more of a framing device or a hook to get the audience interested in the discussion of our tendancy to blame the mom. that is what the article centers on. so whether or not the lyric is satire is not instrumental to the article's message, even if interpreting it as satire would change the beginning and end.
The article begins, ends, and centers on (why else would it have that title?) the inaccurate assumption that Sabrina is literally blaming the mom.
With any consideration of context, it’s clear the lyrics are not perpetuating the idea but, instead, interrogating the idea of how moms are blamed for men’s action. The reality would change the entire beginning and ending of the article.
The lens might be feminist and cultural context, but the source being analyzed is still important.
yeah contextualism in art analysis is super important, something which academics have been pointing out is in decline apparently (i personally feel that this post is a proof of that 💔)
Def satire. Also, women are with men-children all the time, and how else could they stand it, except to blame the mom for their own bad choices of partners. But, yes, I agree Areesha
Agree. Sabrina says she *chooses* to blame his mom, pointing out our own internalized misogyny when we hold mothers responsible for their sons' actions (to Celeste's point) within a powerful system that is difficult or impossible for most mothers to overcome.
Yea I think it was definitely satire, cause throughout the music video we see Sabrina constantly chasing after these incompetent men even though her lyrics say “ manchiiid why you always come running to me” so I think the line “ I choose to blame your mom” was also ironic line in that way
Ooof, I'm so glad you're writing about this. As the mother of two twenty-something sons who watched me choose divorce after 24 years - including, gasp, having an affair! - I have a front-row seat to what pattern interruption actually looks like. I'm well aware there's a catchy soundtrack to my choices, but the truth is that I'm imperfectly unwinding decades of patriarchal conditioning right in front of my boys, and we're talking about it at a moment I feel is so important as they live into their own lives.
Their father found someone new immediately and they travel together, so he's around less than he was (which I'm sure some people would also find a way to make my fault). I now consider myself joyfully self-partnered with many more friendships (both male and female) than I previously had. My sons are watching both of us, seeing our individual choices in stark relief now that I'm no longer operating as part of an enmeshed and predicable unit.
Both of them live with me post-college. This would never have happened had I stayed married, and I find it completely appropriate. The pressure to push our kids to "grow up" — and by that we really mean repeat the traditional pattern - is relentless. So I keep making the same points to them: trust yourself, go slow, have women as actual friends, explore your sexuality and choices consciously. Marriage/traditional partnership is not the only track!! A woman isn't here to serve or save you!! Women's pleasure is a real thing!! Be intentional about what you truly want, your choices matter, you are here to do more than provide and protect.
It's like we're all learning an entirely new genre of music. But I love that we're all talking about it and figuring it out separately and together. Even though it can feel like the wild unknown I think we're on a good and more real track!
I can't remember the podcast where I heard someone say about the parents of Gen Xers / Early Millennials (I'm paraphrasing): "Why were we so focused on girls can do it all, and no one said the same thing to the boys?". Reading this essay, I just realized that when I heard it, I pictured the moms. Why did the moms not teach the boys how to engage in domestic labor? Why did the moms not encourage the boys to express emotions or learn to sit in discomfort? Thank you for helping me realize that implicit and internalized bias. Where were the dads?
Goddess love you. This is an extremely important topic! When I first began to question the “mother wound,” people got offended. What about the big, hairy beast of a Father Wound called patriarchy? It it truly just that~ so enormous that it’s easier to blame mom, especially in a culture that has trained us to look suspiciously at women.
I'm a little old for the pop music discussion but I'm very familiar with the subject. Some may remember, or have read about, how emotionally cold, uncaring mothers were to blame for autism. (Vaccines, anyone?)
But my point is, mother-blaming is a feature of patriarchy. Just one more, very powerful way, of deflecting responsibility from men for their behaviors. He gets the freedom & the power, she gets the blame for all the damage. It's not just convenient for them, it's part of the plan, starting with Eve & her pre-Christian or Jewish predecessors.
I like Celeste’s version of this song MUCH BETTER.
I noticed that the mom in the example cleaned up after dinner by herself, while the males “lorded over the kingdom”.
Recently in my aqua aerobic class, an unaccompanied 12 year old boy that I have never seen before, started splashing water in my hair.
I do not like chorine water in my hair.
I kindly and patiently told himself this, and asked him to stop.
In response, he escalated the attack doing it about 7 times.
Another adult woman stepped in telling him to stop, and he back talked both of us.
The other woman went out and told the male club manager.
The manager came running in and defended the boy’s behavior, even saying that the rule about no splashing and the one hanging on the wall that says no children under the age of 16 allowed without parent, does not matter.
The look of defiant success on the little brats face was beyond gross.
I wrote the manager a long email about what had transpired, and told him if he could not stop this type of behavior, I would be canceling my membership.
His response was to deny what he had done, and say he cannot understand why I was so upset by all of this.
On Absent Fathers - The media portrays black men who go to jail as absent fathers; it demonizes them and their support system. Yet, it glorifies and exemplifies men that work 120 hour weeks, have an “apartment in the city”, and have million flyer miles.
Below both of these extremes, society calls women attached to these to situations: gold diggers.
Racism when it comes to ways of being absent. Alignment on patriarchy when demeaning women.
How do you read our minds/hearts/souls like this, Celeste!?
My son (an only child) is by far my favorite person in the world. He's always been extremely easy to love--kind, affectionate, empathic, thoughtful, smart, articulate, funny, grateful, reflective. Indisputably handsome.
So discipline hasn't been a common problem in our home because 1) he's truly easier to connect with than most kids and 2) I very intentionally model nonviolent communication and partnership with both him and his dad, actively inviting them into hard conversations where we come up with strategies together when conflict inevitably emerges.
But he's almost 13 now. Started at a new school this year and fully entered the developmental phase of wanting much less reassurance from me--and waaaay more validation from his (mostly idiot) peers. Wants his hair cut super short like the other boys, refuses to wear literally any color in his clothes because his male friends don't, started asking his dad (who is lowkey obsessed with his own size) about supplementing protein and lifting weights to get bigger as if that could speed up puberty--fixating on the fact that he's the "third smallest" kid in his grade, etc.
I know some of this is developmentally predictable (epigenetic), but--unlike his dad--I also know it's not truly natural. Because patriarchy is domination—and domination isn’t natural.
We had a conflict recently where my sweet boy reacted with absolute contempt toward me for the first time. Of course, my first inclination was to think of what I had done wrong and what I could do more patiently redirect him in the future, etc. But when I went inside to examine all that, I could see the patriarchal burdens he picked up didn’t come from me or my trauma this time. They came from his dad and the entire patriarchally identified world they’re both still immersed in. Of course that doesn’t make any of this easier. But locating the source of the problem outside of ourselves as women and mothers can and does change everything in our relationships because--to bell hooks' point!--inner work isn’t so different than housework; if they don’t think it’s even their responsibility, they have no incentive to learn they too can do hard things.
This article was so interesting and well researched. It hit my heart hard. I have 3 adult sons 24-36 and have struggled to have a relationship with them. What I’ve noticed is exactly what you articulated. They treat me like their dad treats men. I grew up and even now wonder what a dad is or even does. My dad and my kids dad was only a provider. But anybody can be a provider without any biological input. I’ve realized that the only contribution a man makes to the creation of a child is a little squirt of semen ejaculated in the throes of their pleasure. 50% DNA. That’s all. Little time, no sacrifice, no discomfort, no inconvenience, no 100% mitochondrial DNA, no blood, no calcium from his bones, no blood matter from his brain, no sweat, no tears, no work and no labor. I’ve always called my kids dad the Disneyland dad because he was only there for the vacations and fun. Yet my kids prefer him because he didn’t do any of the hard stuff, the discipling, teaching how to work, helping them with homework. getting them to brush their teeth and get to bed, talking about bullies and what to do, friend issues etc. It’s really not fair and now I wish I’d never gotten married or had kids. I can understand why some women don’t want to do that any more. It’s not worth it.
Yes! I am sorry but the focus on the “mother wound” drives me nuts. It sometimes implies wounding caused by mothers, as opposed to how we have been disconnected, unsupported and criticized relentlessly. Yes, we have been wounded. But we need to point the finger back at the whole system that does not support birth and motherhood at all, where men leave and get off scott-free, and give back the guilt and shame. Patriarchy and religion, take the Magdalene laundries for example.
Fantastic article Celeste! You always have such a wonderful way of breaking down and putting into words thoughts and ideas that are swirling around in my head and have yet to find a place to land! 💜
I haven't read all of your prior work, so I maybe didn't understand all the references, but I had a few reactions:
1. How you could have ever defended Sabrina Carpenter is beyond me. She is a fraud and a whore who openly uses misogyny to sell her product. She acts out misogynistic, explicit scenes from porn in her live performances, with her male dancers. She acted out submission to men for the artwork for her recent album; I know you saw that.
2. It's true that moms are blamed but I have found the blaming is more subtle. What I heard growing up is that boys acted out because they lived in "families headed by women." This phrase was ubiquitous in the media. The implication was that if a man wasn't around to head the family, the boys ran wild. There is no scientific evidence that a single mom family does worse than a single dad family; in fact, the evidence is the opposite. What is usually best is having two parents. But of course we all know the reason kids grow up in single mom families is because Dad ran off, or went to prison, or died, often from a drug overdose.
Just an fyi, the word whore, from hora, can be traced back to ‘a woman who desires’”, the used against women as a derogatory term, like so many others.
Kind of irrelevant to my comment. Did you read the part where I noted Carpenter's enactment of misogynistic porn on stage? Anyway, the dictionary definition of "whore" I believe is someone who sells sex, and what the etymology is, is probably unknown to most people.
Women are so hard on each other... that's a symptom of the patriarchy, too... the old divide and conquer. Be kind to a sister, she was just adding to the conversation... which was good, I was listening until you barked... we get enough harsh treatment in this world.
Hello! While I understand your points, I mostly agree with them. However, reading you call whore another woman just dropped it for me.
Yes, you said in the other comment in this thread that it was irrelevant to know the origin, nor the use of that word. But for me (and Chimamanda has long paragraphs on this too that are worth reading), whore, bitch, etc, are just a way to express inner misogyny that sadly we all experience, and I'm writing my comment here for us to reflect on that.
I was a Sabrina fan, liked her music for a good while, not much these days, as it doesn't make me feel comfortable or can relate to it: rather because it is too sexual, rather because I find myself being uncomfortable with a woman expressing sexuality, and that makes me go like 'huh? Why do I feel uncomfortable when men do it all the time?' and the big long, etc., etc.
There is a lot of thinking process that I need to navigate in that. But we shouldn't call each other names for that. Most so when those names are used these days to reinforce a bad view of women. I choose to believe that Sabrina, like many others, is a victim of a system that makes us lean into that type of marketing to make us see value. <3
yes she is a victim...but as a mother of 2 boys...it is SO HARD to keep the porn out of their world in these days of social media. and I concur that it made me very angry trying to do so, it was like putting your finger in a dike. and I probably mouthed the same words, although my kids' early upbringing was during Madonnas' reign, but the term could equally have applied to her. And if you read her own accounts of her life (yes she was a victim as all women are), but she chose to live the lifestyle, promulgate and capitalize on it, ignorant of the message it sends to our boys-as well as girls- which they equally absorb.
Hiii Debra! Thank you for your reply ❤️ I didn't say anything related to her behaviour being good and how it can affect others, etc.
What I talked about is that calling whore, bitch or any derogatory term in the same line to another woman to make your point across, I believe, is not the way to go. And I'm not saying I never did it myself either! What I was trying to reflect here is that now we also know better. 🙈
Who said "whore" is a derogatory term? It's just another word for prostitute. Of course prostitute is also a derogatory term in the sense that most people aren't in favor of prostitution, but saying someone is a whore when the person is a whore, is no different than saying that someone is a real estate agent.
Mic. Drop: "Mothers are somehow expected to out-parent patriarchy."
I feel this as the mother of a daughter as well.
Yes! I loved that line too! I have 3 daughters and three sons and I so feel this!!
🎯🙏🏾♥️
i think there was intentionality behind that lyric from sabrina's side? like it clearly comes off as satirical to me...like she's making fun of how we (as a society) "choose to blame his mom"
That’s a good point — I hadn’t thought about it as satire.
What’s interesting is that even when it’s meant that way, it still lands… probably because it reflects something we already tend to do as a society.
Agree! She’s pretty clever with how she interrogates these things. Also, it simply wouldn’t make sense for her to mean it literally given the context of the song as a whole.
But the point of the article wasn't 'is the line intended as satire' (hopefully it is), the whole point is that it's always the mother's fault.
i get people's point that the lyric is satire, but agree that it's more of a framing device or a hook to get the audience interested in the discussion of our tendancy to blame the mom. that is what the article centers on. so whether or not the lyric is satire is not instrumental to the article's message, even if interpreting it as satire would change the beginning and end.
Yes! That! Precisely that!
The article begins, ends, and centers on (why else would it have that title?) the inaccurate assumption that Sabrina is literally blaming the mom.
With any consideration of context, it’s clear the lyrics are not perpetuating the idea but, instead, interrogating the idea of how moms are blamed for men’s action. The reality would change the entire beginning and ending of the article.
The lens might be feminist and cultural context, but the source being analyzed is still important.
yeah contextualism in art analysis is super important, something which academics have been pointing out is in decline apparently (i personally feel that this post is a proof of that 💔)
It’s a bummer! I think people are really missing out on how clever and creative art is.
Yup! I always took that lyric as satire as well
Def satire. Also, women are with men-children all the time, and how else could they stand it, except to blame the mom for their own bad choices of partners. But, yes, I agree Areesha
Agree. Sabrina says she *chooses* to blame his mom, pointing out our own internalized misogyny when we hold mothers responsible for their sons' actions (to Celeste's point) within a powerful system that is difficult or impossible for most mothers to overcome.
Yea I think it was definitely satire, cause throughout the music video we see Sabrina constantly chasing after these incompetent men even though her lyrics say “ manchiiid why you always come running to me” so I think the line “ I choose to blame your mom” was also ironic line in that way
Ooof, I'm so glad you're writing about this. As the mother of two twenty-something sons who watched me choose divorce after 24 years - including, gasp, having an affair! - I have a front-row seat to what pattern interruption actually looks like. I'm well aware there's a catchy soundtrack to my choices, but the truth is that I'm imperfectly unwinding decades of patriarchal conditioning right in front of my boys, and we're talking about it at a moment I feel is so important as they live into their own lives.
Their father found someone new immediately and they travel together, so he's around less than he was (which I'm sure some people would also find a way to make my fault). I now consider myself joyfully self-partnered with many more friendships (both male and female) than I previously had. My sons are watching both of us, seeing our individual choices in stark relief now that I'm no longer operating as part of an enmeshed and predicable unit.
Both of them live with me post-college. This would never have happened had I stayed married, and I find it completely appropriate. The pressure to push our kids to "grow up" — and by that we really mean repeat the traditional pattern - is relentless. So I keep making the same points to them: trust yourself, go slow, have women as actual friends, explore your sexuality and choices consciously. Marriage/traditional partnership is not the only track!! A woman isn't here to serve or save you!! Women's pleasure is a real thing!! Be intentional about what you truly want, your choices matter, you are here to do more than provide and protect.
It's like we're all learning an entirely new genre of music. But I love that we're all talking about it and figuring it out separately and together. Even though it can feel like the wild unknown I think we're on a good and more real track!
I can't remember the podcast where I heard someone say about the parents of Gen Xers / Early Millennials (I'm paraphrasing): "Why were we so focused on girls can do it all, and no one said the same thing to the boys?". Reading this essay, I just realized that when I heard it, I pictured the moms. Why did the moms not teach the boys how to engage in domestic labor? Why did the moms not encourage the boys to express emotions or learn to sit in discomfort? Thank you for helping me realize that implicit and internalized bias. Where were the dads?
Goddess love you. This is an extremely important topic! When I first began to question the “mother wound,” people got offended. What about the big, hairy beast of a Father Wound called patriarchy? It it truly just that~ so enormous that it’s easier to blame mom, especially in a culture that has trained us to look suspiciously at women.
I'm a little old for the pop music discussion but I'm very familiar with the subject. Some may remember, or have read about, how emotionally cold, uncaring mothers were to blame for autism. (Vaccines, anyone?)
But my point is, mother-blaming is a feature of patriarchy. Just one more, very powerful way, of deflecting responsibility from men for their behaviors. He gets the freedom & the power, she gets the blame for all the damage. It's not just convenient for them, it's part of the plan, starting with Eve & her pre-Christian or Jewish predecessors.
I like Celeste’s version of this song MUCH BETTER.
I noticed that the mom in the example cleaned up after dinner by herself, while the males “lorded over the kingdom”.
Recently in my aqua aerobic class, an unaccompanied 12 year old boy that I have never seen before, started splashing water in my hair.
I do not like chorine water in my hair.
I kindly and patiently told himself this, and asked him to stop.
In response, he escalated the attack doing it about 7 times.
Another adult woman stepped in telling him to stop, and he back talked both of us.
The other woman went out and told the male club manager.
The manager came running in and defended the boy’s behavior, even saying that the rule about no splashing and the one hanging on the wall that says no children under the age of 16 allowed without parent, does not matter.
The look of defiant success on the little brats face was beyond gross.
I wrote the manager a long email about what had transpired, and told him if he could not stop this type of behavior, I would be canceling my membership.
His response was to deny what he had done, and say he cannot understand why I was so upset by all of this.
In my late sixties, I am so over this shit.
I splashed back one time in a situation like this and the look on the kids face was how dare you!
This kid was doing cannonballs into the pool next to me, so he would not have cared about getting splashed.
On Absent Fathers - The media portrays black men who go to jail as absent fathers; it demonizes them and their support system. Yet, it glorifies and exemplifies men that work 120 hour weeks, have an “apartment in the city”, and have million flyer miles.
Below both of these extremes, society calls women attached to these to situations: gold diggers.
Racism when it comes to ways of being absent. Alignment on patriarchy when demeaning women.
How do you read our minds/hearts/souls like this, Celeste!?
My son (an only child) is by far my favorite person in the world. He's always been extremely easy to love--kind, affectionate, empathic, thoughtful, smart, articulate, funny, grateful, reflective. Indisputably handsome.
So discipline hasn't been a common problem in our home because 1) he's truly easier to connect with than most kids and 2) I very intentionally model nonviolent communication and partnership with both him and his dad, actively inviting them into hard conversations where we come up with strategies together when conflict inevitably emerges.
But he's almost 13 now. Started at a new school this year and fully entered the developmental phase of wanting much less reassurance from me--and waaaay more validation from his (mostly idiot) peers. Wants his hair cut super short like the other boys, refuses to wear literally any color in his clothes because his male friends don't, started asking his dad (who is lowkey obsessed with his own size) about supplementing protein and lifting weights to get bigger as if that could speed up puberty--fixating on the fact that he's the "third smallest" kid in his grade, etc.
I know some of this is developmentally predictable (epigenetic), but--unlike his dad--I also know it's not truly natural. Because patriarchy is domination—and domination isn’t natural.
We had a conflict recently where my sweet boy reacted with absolute contempt toward me for the first time. Of course, my first inclination was to think of what I had done wrong and what I could do more patiently redirect him in the future, etc. But when I went inside to examine all that, I could see the patriarchal burdens he picked up didn’t come from me or my trauma this time. They came from his dad and the entire patriarchally identified world they’re both still immersed in. Of course that doesn’t make any of this easier. But locating the source of the problem outside of ourselves as women and mothers can and does change everything in our relationships because--to bell hooks' point!--inner work isn’t so different than housework; if they don’t think it’s even their responsibility, they have no incentive to learn they too can do hard things.
This article was so interesting and well researched. It hit my heart hard. I have 3 adult sons 24-36 and have struggled to have a relationship with them. What I’ve noticed is exactly what you articulated. They treat me like their dad treats men. I grew up and even now wonder what a dad is or even does. My dad and my kids dad was only a provider. But anybody can be a provider without any biological input. I’ve realized that the only contribution a man makes to the creation of a child is a little squirt of semen ejaculated in the throes of their pleasure. 50% DNA. That’s all. Little time, no sacrifice, no discomfort, no inconvenience, no 100% mitochondrial DNA, no blood, no calcium from his bones, no blood matter from his brain, no sweat, no tears, no work and no labor. I’ve always called my kids dad the Disneyland dad because he was only there for the vacations and fun. Yet my kids prefer him because he didn’t do any of the hard stuff, the discipling, teaching how to work, helping them with homework. getting them to brush their teeth and get to bed, talking about bullies and what to do, friend issues etc. It’s really not fair and now I wish I’d never gotten married or had kids. I can understand why some women don’t want to do that any more. It’s not worth it.
Yes! I am sorry but the focus on the “mother wound” drives me nuts. It sometimes implies wounding caused by mothers, as opposed to how we have been disconnected, unsupported and criticized relentlessly. Yes, we have been wounded. But we need to point the finger back at the whole system that does not support birth and motherhood at all, where men leave and get off scott-free, and give back the guilt and shame. Patriarchy and religion, take the Magdalene laundries for example.
As a mum of 3 boys, I’m constantly thinking about such things. And I agree that modelling plays a huge role in shaping boys.
Fantastic article Celeste! You always have such a wonderful way of breaking down and putting into words thoughts and ideas that are swirling around in my head and have yet to find a place to land! 💜
💯
This was interesting to read.
It made me realize something — in the U.S., when a man struggles, people often ask: “What did his mother do wrong?”
Where I grew up in France, the question feels a bit different… more like:
“What kind of man did he become — and who influenced that?”
Your piece really made me reflect on that.
I haven't read all of your prior work, so I maybe didn't understand all the references, but I had a few reactions:
1. How you could have ever defended Sabrina Carpenter is beyond me. She is a fraud and a whore who openly uses misogyny to sell her product. She acts out misogynistic, explicit scenes from porn in her live performances, with her male dancers. She acted out submission to men for the artwork for her recent album; I know you saw that.
2. It's true that moms are blamed but I have found the blaming is more subtle. What I heard growing up is that boys acted out because they lived in "families headed by women." This phrase was ubiquitous in the media. The implication was that if a man wasn't around to head the family, the boys ran wild. There is no scientific evidence that a single mom family does worse than a single dad family; in fact, the evidence is the opposite. What is usually best is having two parents. But of course we all know the reason kids grow up in single mom families is because Dad ran off, or went to prison, or died, often from a drug overdose.
Just an fyi, the word whore, from hora, can be traced back to ‘a woman who desires’”, the used against women as a derogatory term, like so many others.
Kind of irrelevant to my comment. Did you read the part where I noted Carpenter's enactment of misogynistic porn on stage? Anyway, the dictionary definition of "whore" I believe is someone who sells sex, and what the etymology is, is probably unknown to most people.
Women are so hard on each other... that's a symptom of the patriarchy, too... the old divide and conquer. Be kind to a sister, she was just adding to the conversation... which was good, I was listening until you barked... we get enough harsh treatment in this world.
I don't like Sabrina Carpenter and I believe what she is doing is wrong. She is a sellout and a traitor. Do you like that better than "whore"?
Hello! While I understand your points, I mostly agree with them. However, reading you call whore another woman just dropped it for me.
Yes, you said in the other comment in this thread that it was irrelevant to know the origin, nor the use of that word. But for me (and Chimamanda has long paragraphs on this too that are worth reading), whore, bitch, etc, are just a way to express inner misogyny that sadly we all experience, and I'm writing my comment here for us to reflect on that.
I was a Sabrina fan, liked her music for a good while, not much these days, as it doesn't make me feel comfortable or can relate to it: rather because it is too sexual, rather because I find myself being uncomfortable with a woman expressing sexuality, and that makes me go like 'huh? Why do I feel uncomfortable when men do it all the time?' and the big long, etc., etc.
There is a lot of thinking process that I need to navigate in that. But we shouldn't call each other names for that. Most so when those names are used these days to reinforce a bad view of women. I choose to believe that Sabrina, like many others, is a victim of a system that makes us lean into that type of marketing to make us see value. <3
yes she is a victim...but as a mother of 2 boys...it is SO HARD to keep the porn out of their world in these days of social media. and I concur that it made me very angry trying to do so, it was like putting your finger in a dike. and I probably mouthed the same words, although my kids' early upbringing was during Madonnas' reign, but the term could equally have applied to her. And if you read her own accounts of her life (yes she was a victim as all women are), but she chose to live the lifestyle, promulgate and capitalize on it, ignorant of the message it sends to our boys-as well as girls- which they equally absorb.
Hiii Debra! Thank you for your reply ❤️ I didn't say anything related to her behaviour being good and how it can affect others, etc.
What I talked about is that calling whore, bitch or any derogatory term in the same line to another woman to make your point across, I believe, is not the way to go. And I'm not saying I never did it myself either! What I was trying to reflect here is that now we also know better. 🙈
Who said "whore" is a derogatory term? It's just another word for prostitute. Of course prostitute is also a derogatory term in the sense that most people aren't in favor of prostitution, but saying someone is a whore when the person is a whore, is no different than saying that someone is a real estate agent.