There is one word that explains how so many men can be in the Epstein files. So why is no one saying it?
We talk endlessly about the factors that make rape easier, but never about the factors that cause rape in the first place.
Attention! This Tuesday, Feb 24th the doors to enroll in Women’s Circle 2026 will close, and will not open again for another year! What is Women’s Circle? It’s the founding membership of Matriarchal Blessing where a badass group of women meet each month to watch movies together and discuss patriarchy. It’s all online. Join from anywhere. All details and discussion questions found here. (Note that Women’s Circle is the founding membership tier and is different than the regular paid membership).
Also, our next book club book selection (part of the regular paid membership) will be announced at the end of this post.
Unless you’ve been enjoying life under a rock, the past few weeks have likely involved a relentless scroll of names once spoken with reverence now tied to the words “Epstein files.”
The list of people wheeling and dealing with Epstein after he went to jail for pedophilia is mind-numbing:
alleged STD medications for Bill Gates,
spiritual leader Deepak Chopra texting, “God is a construct. Cute girls are real,”
respected physician Peter Attia’s name appearing 1700 times,
pay outs to linguist Noam Chomsky,
liaisons with British royalty, Israeli Prime Minister, Russian officials, numerous US senators and of course US Presidents.
No sector of society is safe.
Leaders from each and every one of the institutions that run our world—politics, business, tech, academia, wellness, philanthropy, entertainment, spirituality—are all over these files.
It’s gross. It’s everywhere. It’s destabilizing.
Leaving us asking… how? How could this happen? How could so many people let this happen? In plain sight? For so long?
Mainstream media is focused on four answers:
1. Wealth
The New York Times: HOW JPMORGAN ENABLED THE CRIMES OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN
Real News Network: JEFFREY EPSTEIN: HOW WEALTH PROTECTED AMERICA’S WORST CHILD SEX CRIMINAL
2. Elite Networks
The New York Times: THE EPSTEIN FILES AND THE HIDDEN WORLD OF AN UNACCOUNTABLE ELITE
PBS: EMAILS REVEAL EPSTEIN’S NETWORK OF THE RICH AND POWERFUL DESPITE SEX OFFENDER STATUS
3. Institutional Failure
The Guardian: EPSTEIN FILES PLACE RENEWED ATTENTION ON US AUTHORITIES’ FAILURE TO STOP HIM
China Daily: EPSTEIN CASE UGLY FACE OF INSTITUTIONAL FAILURE
Helsinki Times: INSIDE A DEPRAVED TRANSATLANTIC ELITE AND THE INSTITUTIONS THAT PROTECTED IT
4. Blackmail
TIME: COMMERCE SECRETARY CALLS JEFFREY EPSTEIN ‘THE GREATEST BLACKMAILER EVER’
The New York Times: ‘GANG STUFF’ AND ‘ILLICIT TRYSTS’: HOW EPSTEIN SOUGHT LEVERAGE WITH THE WEALTHY
BBC: BILLIONAIRE LES WEXNER TELLS US LAW MAKERS HE WAS CONNED BY EPSTEIN
A deep frustration has arisen within me around the press and discussions around the Epstein files.
The bulk of the attention is converged around figuring out who and what exactly enabled Epstein’s rampant sexual abuse—wealth, elite networks, institutional failure and blackmail.
Everyone is asking how did these men get away with so much rape?
No one is asking what would cause so many to want to rape so much in the first place?
It’s as if the Epstein files have exposed an entire field being taken over by noxious weeds—miles and miles of weeds—and then instead of digging to the root to eradicate the weeds’ seed, we are hyper-focused on what exact water and fertilizer enabled the weeds to grow so high.
We’re acting as if weeds/rapists are just a given.
Well, of course men want to rape! It’s just most men can’t rape because there are rules, but the rules don’t apply to billionaries so they get to rape. The problem isn’t the rape, it’s that billionaires can get away with rape.1
I’m sorry what?
Why aren’t we talking about why so many men when given power continually choose to use that power to rape women?
WHY AREN’T WE TALKING ABOUT THAT?!
Money and corrupt elite networks of billionaires are certainly not off the hook here. Those are important conversations to have.
But while money may have enabled Epstein’s sexual abuse, it didn’t create it.
One in four women have experienced sexual abuse. Billionaires seem to do a lot of raping, but they can’t do THAT much raping.
This week I came across the following Substack note from Mélina Magdelénat about the Gisele Pelicot trials where 90 men in a small French town raped one woman, and thought, oh this needs to be brought into the Epstein files discourse immediately.
Here’s what Magdelenat said:
“There’s an interaction I think back to every time we are collectively confronted with the utterly habitual nature of male violence against women. It was at a conference a year or so ago by Le Monde journalist Lorraine de Foucher, who won a Pulitzer for her coverage of the porn industry, child prostitution and sex trafficking in France.
The Pelicot trials came up during the Q&A, and a seventy-something man in the front row timidly raised his hand. You could tell he was carefully phrasing his question and choosing his words as he was saying them.
He said: « So, let me get this right. In the fairly small town of Mazan, Dominique Pélicot easily found 90+ men willing to rape his wife while she was drugged and unconscious. Hundreds more saw the messages on the forum and not one decided to tell the police about it. »
At that point, a lot of us were kind of bracing for either a dismissal of the facts, or some convoluted explanation for how those men were unique. But no. He continued:
« So, does that mean that in every town, every village in our country, there are just as many men willing to rape an unconscious woman? »
Lorraine de Foucher replied, « Yes. »
« But then that means that there are thousands, tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands! » (You could hear at that point the wheels turning in his head).
« Yes », she nodded again.
« But… that’s abominable! It’s a catastrophe! It’s a national emergency! »
« …… Yes. It is. » - Mélina Magdelénat
Yes. It is.
The 90+ men who raped Gisele Pelicot were not billionaires.
They were nurses, teachers, firefighters, fathers, grandfathers, councillors, farm workers.
We cannot blame money or elite networks for what they did.
However, we can ask what exactly is the seed that was planted in these average men that would make them want to rape a woman when an opportunity presented itself?
For it’s the same seed that was planted in Epstein. In Bill Clinton, P. Diddy, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and so very many others.
Different elements may have enabled the different rapes, but something they all had in common was the desire to rape.
At some point we have to acknowledge that the world is not divided into good men and monster men
The other frustrating thing about the Epstein files discourse is the common reaction of, “Whoa! I thought that was a good man, but turns out he is a monster?! Ah man!”
The world is not divided into monster men and good men.
Rather, the world we live in seems to plant a seed in the minds of men, that when watered with enough power, opportunity or anonymity this seed so very, very often blooms into rape.
Not every seed blooms into a weed. Not every man rapes. But they all exist in the same fertile soil for it to be possible.
Believing that rapists are monsterous, abnormal, one-off bad apples keeps us relentlessly weed-whacking these “abnormalities” instead of ever digging up the root and making the soil less conducive to weeds.
What was planted in little Bill Gates’s mind that lie dormant until one day when watered with enough power, money and impunity would cause him to befriend a pedophile, cheat on his wife and then secretly give his wife STD medication so she wouldn’t know (allegedly)?
If you trace it to its root— before the 3400+ mentions in the Epstein files— what was the seed planted in little Deepak Chopra’s mind or heart that when eventually watered with status, money and anonymity would cause him to invite a pedophile on a trip and say “bring your girls”?
What is it that was planted in the minds and hearts of that firefighter, teacher and nurse in Mazan, France that when told of the opportunity to rape a drugged woman online they would drive right over and do it?
What is the root of the weed?
Let’s start with what it’s not.
Because I know someone is about to chime in that men want to rape because they are just naturally sexual and aggressive. Nothing to be done, it’s just biology. Testosterone makes men want to rape. Sorry.
Let’s address that from the jump.2
If testosterone were the cause of rape, then men with higher levels of testosterone would rape more than men with low levels.
But scientists have measured testosterone levels and disproven this theory.
The National Library of Medicine found that sex offenders do not have higher testosterone than non-sex offenders.
Trans men who increase their testosterone do not become more abusive or start raping.
When scientists decreased the testosterone in domestic violence perpetrators they did not find it to be an effective solution to curbing the abusers’ behavior.
But do you know what they did find was effective in curbing domestic abusers’ behavior?
“Changing their deeply held beliefs about their sense of entitlement.”3
(Now we are getting to the root of things.)
If men can’t help the urge to rape because of their biology, then rape statistics would hold steady across all cultures, but that is not true at all.
And what makes the difference between cultures with higher rates of sexual abuse and those with lower?
The World Health Organization has concluded that “Violence against women is rooted in and perpetuated by gender inequalities.”
The UN also came out with a report linking rape with gender inequality that said, “As gender equality improves, the prevalence of violence against women is lower… This is borne out for both physical and sexual forms of abuse. As seen in the graph, countries with greater equality between women and men have lower levels of violence against women.”
A CDC report studying US States found the exact same thing: “States with a high degree of gender inequality also report higher prevalence estimates among women for completed or attempted rape using physical force.”
Now we are digging at the root. What other factors have scientists found leads to sexual assault?
“Evidence suggests that it is not innate aggression that makes men violent, but the internalized belief that they fall short of society’s perceived standards for masculinity. Psychologists call this phenomenon, “masculine discrepancy stress” and research shows that the more acutely a man suffers from this, the more likely he is to commit almost every type of violence, including sexual assault, intimate partner violence and assault with a weapon.” - Ruth Whippman
Ah yes masculinity - that North Star our society hands men that says the worst thing you can do isn’t cruelty, the worst thing you can do is act like a girl.
Ok. So entitlement, gender inequality and masculine discrepancy stress4 have all been correlated with rape.
If only we had a name for this…
And what is this system called that perpetuates gender inequality, and dominance and entitlement among men?
Patriarchy.
The word for that system is called patriarchy.
If you could zoom in on that seed planted in those boys who would eventually become men who rape—that seed would be labeled “patriarchy.”
Where being emasculated is far more embarrassing and destabilizing than being immoral.
The Epstein rapes were aided by money, elite networks and institutional corruption, but at their core, they are explained by patriarchy.5
Perhaps you are thinking, well duh, that’s obvious.
I think so too.
And yet guess how many times the word patriarchy is used in those 12 articles up there? The ones where the New York Times, the BBC, PBS and TIME try to explain the Epstein files?
Zero.
Zero times.
Ok fine, but patriarchy is an unpopular word. Guess how many times gender inequality comes up?
Also zero!
Patriarchy holds both the explanation and the remedy for the Epstein scandals and yet is almost never brought up in Epstein discussions.
Instead again and again we talk about how we could better punish rape instead of how we could prevent it.
Here’s a chart from a recent Reuter’s poll showing people’s concerns about the Epstein files:
69% of Americans said that the files show that powerful people are rarely held accountable. 53% of Americans said that the files have lowered their trust in political and business leaders.
All valid concerns. But how many said that the files show that we have a big problem with gender inequality, male entitlement or patriarchy?
I don’t know, they were not asked. Those things never seem to be brought up.
(I do know that 22% of American men said they believe that gender inequality doesn’t really exist, and a third of American men believe feminism is making things worse.)
And again, let me be clear that powerful people not being held accountable is certainly a problem worth discussing.
But when patriarchy is never brought up when we are discussing how to prevent massive sexual abuse epidemics???
THAT’S A PROBLEM!
That ensures we keep whacking weeds (things that make rape easier), without ever whacking the root of rape itself (patriarchy).
To quote that UN report: “Violence against women is a global pandemic: Between 15 and 76 per cent of women experience it at some point in their lifetime. Violence against women is deeply rooted in discrimination and inequality between men and women. Ending it requires investments in women’s empowerment and gender equality, particularly in education, reproductive health and rights, and economic and political empowerment.”
So that’s how to prevent violence against women, but guess how often women’s educational, financial, political and reproductive equality come up as either solutions to or explanations for the Epstein files?
Poke around the major news stories and see for yourself (but I have some bad news for you).
But there are some people pointing to patriarchy
I’m three days into writing this article, and this afternoon I decided to poke around Substack to see what people are writing about the Epstein files.
And lo and behold, I quickly discovered I am not the only person asking, “why the hell are we not talking about patriarchy when we talk about Epstein?”
I actually had to laugh that I thought I had an original observation while reading the news because it turns out lots of other women noticed the exact same omission and wrote about it:
Jude Doyle wrote an article called, “You know You Can Just Say ‘Patriarchy’: These analyses of the Epstein case are… missing something.”
Linda Caroll wrote, “Everyone wants to know which people were so despicable that they raped little girls. So many little girls. Over 1200…You want to know who the men are that abused little children? Look around you.”
Liz Plank wrote, “what’s landing so hard is realizing we weren’t exaggerating patriarchy’s harm at all, in fact we were underestimating it…”
Kara Post-Kennedy at The Good Men Project wrote, “One of the big problems we are having as a society right now is the way the Epstein files are being handled (or ignored). It isn’t just that we are not actively investigating and prosecuting the men who were involved in this criminal and abhorrent and abusive enterprise. It is the framing of this criminal, abhorrent and abusive behavior as “other”. As the outlier behavior of some spoiled rich jerks who ran out of other things to amuse themselves with. Not something that regula’ folk need trouble themselves with at all.”
Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD wrote, “Epstein is the patriarchy’s logical conclusion. We do ourselves a disservice when we call Epstein and his ilk monsters or a bizarre glitch of elite decadence.”
Kristen Shelt said, “All men does not mean all men rape or assault or harm women, it means all men are raised inside the same system that teaches male entitlement… And that conditioning exists whether or not its acted on… Every man who is raised in patriarchy is handed the same basic operating system.”
Lane Anderson of Matriarchy Report wrote “the Epstein files peel back the mask of American patriarchal power structures.” “For 249 years, she argues, we’ve celebrated that a nation that left women and girls outside of the definition of humanity, and erased us. What we are experiencing now is the logical conclusion of that legacy.”
Tracy Clark-Flory and Amanda Montei say, “The files are telling us what we already know: the conspiracy of patriarchy. Sexual violence isn’t just a problem of the global elite.”
Women of Substack are linking patriarchy with the Epstein files.
Unfortunately, women of Substack are not oft asked to chime in on global conversations.
Academics and experts on wealth and corruption are given quotes in those mainstream articles above. They are regularly consulted to explain this whole how-billionaires-get-away-with-rape phenomenon.
Academics and experts on patriarchy on the other hand? Well, usually they are called crazy bitches and their writings relegated to thought pieces read almost exclusively by other women.
Why men rape seems to be a niche topic of interest reserved for women.
Why men do or don’t get caught raping however, now that’s a universal interest. Call in the experts.
It’s time to choke out the root
Jonah Mix’s excellent quote on pornography comes to mind here:
“I’m not interested in a world where men really want to watch porn but resist because they’ve been shamed. I’m interested in a world where men are raised from birth with such an unshakable understanding of women as living human beings that they’re incapable of being aroused by their exploitation.” - Jonah Mix
Yessssss Jonah! Preach!
I’m not interested in a world where men want to rape, but don’t because they aren’t super wealthy and powerful.
I’m not interested in a world where the only thing keeping men from raping is not having an elite cabal to keep their secrets.
I’m interested in a world where MEN DON’T WANT TO RAPE FULL STOP!!
I’m interested in a world where men are not aroused by the exploitation of women.
I’m interested in a world where a man’s sense of worth has nothing whatsoever to do with domination.
But if we keep only talking about all the things that make rape easier (money, power, elite networks, anonymity) and never talk about the things that actually cause the desire to rape in the first place (entitlement, domination, patriarchy), then we will continue on our insane, unending weed whacking quest without ever pulling up the root.
Do you really want to dig to the root of patriarchy and hear about some really cool matriarchal societies past and present? Cool me too. Our next Matriarchal Blessing book club book is going to help us do exactly that. The book is The Patriarchs: The Origins of Inequality by Angela Saini. We will meet in April to discuss it. Join us by becoming a paid subscriber.
And if you really want a community around pulling up patriarchal roots, join our Women’s Circle (founding membership). Read all about the good times here. Just make sure you sign up by Tuesday Feb 24 or else you will have to wait another year.
Hey I am no fan of billionaires AT ALL. But they didn’t invent rape.
If you’d like to read a full article de-bunking that men are biologically predisposed to rape and violence, read that here.
Source: For the Love of Men
Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. Glad Lorraine de Foucher’s words are helping to make sense of this. We’ll say it as many times as it needs to be said: the routine sexual abuse of women and children as disposable bodies is not a rich people thing, it’s not an evil people thing, it’s not a psychopath thing, it’s a patriarchy thing.
Agree 100 percent. What I wrote about on my Substack is that this is the reason why Epstein is constantly referred to as a "pedophile" which is probably inaccurate and why the other billionaires are referred to in kind. The public can only be disgusted by the rape of children, not the rape of adult women. It has to be pedophilia not sex trafficking and the rape of adult women because only pedophilia is bad enough for the public to be disgusted. Some of Epstein's victims were over 18. Most were apparently 14-17. The pedophilia label also turns the perpetrators into perverts which fits into a stereotype of the uber wealthy being people "not like us." If they are just ordinary rapists then it hits too close to home. Men want to believe they are child molesters not rapists of adult women so that they can be disgusted instead of identifying with them since so many men have committed rape.