For Those Transitioning Their Faith

A blessing for you

I’ve felt the call lately to experiment pursuing things other than writing.

Before taking my (maybe permanent?) break, I want to offer a thanks and a blessing to my comrades-in-arms who have journeyed with me in my faith transition.

Here’s a blessing I offer myself and I now offer to you:

For those transitioning their faith

I bless you
with the stubborn conviction
that you are not doing this wrong
For there is no right way to do this.

There is only your way-
Only what resonates with you
  and what doesn’t
Only what works for you
  and what doesn’t
Only what feels true to you.

May you see your own integrity
and look at it the way a parent
looks at their toddler in their first ballet recital.

And when a tidal wave
of rage, bitterness, fury, grief, or betrayal
towers over you
and you're tempted to run or numb,
May you close your eyes,
throw open your arms
and welcome all of it to wash over you
with radical acceptance.

May you greet waves of joy, pleasure, self-love and freedom
with equal acceptance when they come
(and they will come).

When someone orders you to do something 
your conscience says 'no' to?
May you throw a tantrum with the fury
of a two-year old who doesn't want
to put on their shoes. 

When you crave yoga,
do yoga.
When you desire meditation,
meditate.
And when you need a tennis racket, a pillow and a few choice expletives?
May you explite.

And when someone who is disappointed in your chosen path
hands you an icy ball of shame to hold?
May you not even flinch.
May you let that shame ball slide off your lap
without so much as glancing at it.

May the warm glow of
self assurance and compassion
melt the frost into a puddle at your feet,
may it evaporate entirely from the knowledge
burning deep in your toes
that you have nothing to be ashamed of.

When the branches of who you once were
lose their leaves
and you want to hide.
I bless you with the courage
to expose your naked branches to the world without apology.

May you find refuge in the company 
of those who understand, accept and validate.

May you know you are good.
May you greet your own goodness each day
like a child greets their dog after vacation-
may you scratch its ears
and let your innate, unearned wholeness
caress your scarred hands in warm spittle.

I bless you with
the ability to look back at your past
and forgive yourself of all that seeks forgiveness
with the tenderness
of a thousand Oprahs.

May you rest
and surrender into the knowing
that you are worthy of rest.

May you find that mute button
within yourself
that switches off the voices and opinions
of friends, parents, Facebook, societal expectations, bishops and partners.

May you discover your own voice in the remaining silence
and offer it a red throne of silk
to rule and reign
over your inner house
forever
amen.