Discussion Roundtable: Can you talk someone out of a relationship?

When are we helping? When are we piling on? And when is it our place?

If you are plugged into online feminine discourse, you’ve likely heard a lot about Lindy West these past two weeks.

If you are not, basically, feminist icon of the 2010s, author Lindy West came out with a new memoire in which she tells the story of reluctantly entering into polyamory after finding out her husband had two secret girlfriends.

Some people reacted with outrage (that’s not how you do polyamory!), some with disappointment (that’s not how you do feminism!), but some reacted with genuine concern expressing that Lindy deserves to be treated better than how her husband treats her.

It’s this last group I want to focus on today.

The question that keeps coming up for me out of this whole Lindy West discourse is:

If you genuinely believe someone is being mistreated in their relationship—what would actually help them see that?