The under-appreciated art of pretending
"What if the beloved community is already real and we have to live 'as if?'" - John Lewis
I heard a poem recently that really just broke me open.
Can I share it with you?
Actually, for legal reasons I’m pretty sure I cannot share it with you, but can I share my favorite bits with you and will you pinky promise to read the whole thing on your own? It’s not long.
Ok good.
I heard the poem on the On Being podcast with Krista Tippett. Krista is interviewing marine biologist / climate change activist Ayana Elizabeth Johnson. The episode is called “what if we get this right?”
So much of climate change rhetoric is full on doomy gloomy (which is justified but still, what a downer). Hope for the future can often seem not only futile but down right silly.
But Ayana asks us to ease off the “we’re doomed” gas pedal for a sec. She asks us to try to envision a version of the future where we get it right instead.
Doing so requires we enter a world of pretend.
Krista and Ayana go through several pivotal figures in history who didn’t just visit the world of pretend, but relied on it, lived in it even.
I love this, because I love worlds of pretend.
We’re gonna circle back to the art of pretending, but let’s get to the poem Ayana reads. The one that broke me open. It’s by another climate change activist Ayisha Siddiqa.
And the title is….. are you ready for this title?
I don’t even think you are.
The title is “On another panel about climate change they ask me to sell the future and all I’ve got is a love poem.”
I mean… you weren’t ready were you?
I didn’t think so.
Just wait until you hear the first line.
It’s
“What if the future is soft……”
mmmmmm lets stop there and really soak that line in
What if the future is soft?
What if the future is soft?
What if the future is soft?
Ok, full first line now:
"What if the future is soft and revolution is so kind that there is no end to us in sight."
What if revolution is so kind?
What if. Here’s another line:
“How rare and beautiful it is that we exist. What if we stun existence one more time?”
And guys, YOU GUYS! Just wait until you hear how the poem ends.
You don’t have long to wait because I’m going to spoil it right now:
"But for what it’s worth, I’d do this again. Gamble on humanity one hundred times over Commit to life unto life, as the trees fall and take us with them. I’d follow love into extinction."
Wow right? Goosebumpy good.
Read the full poem here. And listen to the full episode of “what if we got this right?” here.
Back to the world of pretend.
My husband got real healthy this year. He was always pretty healthy, but now he’s like… real healthy.
His lifestyle changed pretty drastically. In all the years we’ve been married I’ve never seen him regularly going for 5 mile runs at 9:00pm for instance. 2022 Rich would never. I asked him what changed.
He said, “I just started to pretend I’m one of those really fit people.”
I was thinking of this as I was listening to Krista and Ayana talk about people like John Lewis, Einstein, Martin Luther King and others who had to rely on pretend to envision a world that didn’t yet exist.
I keep thinking about it. Now I want you to think about it.
I wrote a poem about it:
The Under-rated Art of Pretending
"What if the beloved community is already real and we have to life 'as if'"
The beloved community didn't yet exist
but John Lewis pretended it did.
"Imagination is more important that knowledge."
Traveling at the speed of light didn't yet exist
but Albert Einstein pretended it did.
"What if we get this right?"
Right relationship with our earth doesn't yet exist
but climate change activist Ayana Johnson pretends it does.
"I have a dream that one day.... little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."
Racial equity did not exist in America
but Martin Luther King pretended it did.
"What if revolution is so kind?"
Kind revolution doesn't yet exist
but poet Ayisha Siddiqa pretends it does.
These dreamers whisper to me
calling me to my crayon set
to sketch out new worlds
and to pretend they are real.Tell me, what examples did I miss? Have you ever pretended something not real into reality? I’d love to hear about it.
Also, if you missed it, there were such beautiful stories and inspiration shared in last week’s comment section about the hidden pressures of being “good.” Wanted to point you in that direction in case you missed it :)
I live in a beautiful destination valley in Northern California in a 1910 old Victorian. It does not pass me by that I am very very privileged. I moved here 17 years ago.
Next door to me is section 8 housing. Not what most people would like to have right next door to them! When I first moved in 3 “skinheads” lived there in a one bedroom apartment. They were scary to say the least. I didn’t want to make eye contact with them. But I pretended that they were nice neighbors and began to smile and say hello. They would nod and reply back, most of the time with their heads down. One particular day, I had decided that I needed a heavy piece of furniture moved up a very narrow staircase into the top floor. I couldn’t do it nor could my child. So, I walked over next door and asked for help all the while screaming in my head what are you doing inviting them into your home?! The one who answered the door said sure he’d help. A big muscular guy. He moved the furniture and nothing bad happened as a result of asking for that help. At Christmas I dropped by a homemade goodie.
Through the years there have been some not so pleasant people live there and some very pleasant people and I’ve always made it a point to introduce myself and welcome them to the neighborhood.
Most recently, a single man in his 60’s moved in. It was very clear just looking at him that he had had a very tough life. The stoop to his front door is such that he can see over my backyard fence and into the street on the other side. My first encounter with Walter was him standing on his stoop yelling profanities and racial slurs at some Hispanic men who live across the street who by the way, ran to my house in the early morning hours after an earthquake to check on me and make sure I was alright. They are wonderful men. So my neighbor is yelling at them loudly. I walk over to speak with Walter. It was clear he was on something. I told him I didn’t appreciate his language or slurs and that those men were my friends and had a much right as anyone else to stand on the sidewalk in the shade under my neighbors tree in a hot day. He tried to engage me in some arguing but I just asked him to please stop yelling, go inside if he felt it necessary to continue doing it and walked away.
Over the weeks and months my Walter would pop his head over the fence and try to converse with me. I would politely chat but quickly get out of any conversation. I started learning that he had been homeless prior to getting this place and that yes indeed, he had substance abuse issues as well as other things.
One day, I decided to “pretend” that he was one of the best neighbors I had ever lived next to.
I own chickens and had recently acquired 3 more hens. The coop I had needed an addition added to accommodate the new hens. Walter, had recently repaired and built a fence on the rental property. It was beautiful. So I walked over to Walter and asked if he could build the addition on my coop. He wanted to make sure that I knew he was not a carpenter and that he had severe arthritis on both hands that permanently bent over his pinky and ring fingers and that it was sometimes difficult for him to figure things out. I told him it didn’t matter to me, and that I would pay him for the job. He took it on.
What I had in mind for the coop was this beautifully painted bead board front with a window box. But Walter had other ideas. Ones that worked for his brain. He found some 150 year old barn wood that he got for free and turned my coop into this amazing rustic, beautiful coop. He struggled a lot but I saw his creativity and his ability to be scrappy and use “junk” and turn it into something beautiful.
As the neighborhood saw this beautiful creation he made, neighbors started asking him to help them with little projects. Has Walter still got problems? Yes! He does. However, he has changed. The drinking has stopped and he will stop and talk with people in the neighborhood. He told me that feeling like he was a part of the neighborhood was the best thing that has ever happened to him.
Now, when he pops over the fence to chat, I totally engage with my new friend and neighbor, grateful that I “pretended” he was the best neighbor I ever had.
I wanted to insert a photo of Walter and the coop, but I don’t see how to do that.
I love Ayana’s poem. I got so much more out of it after reading your post and revisiting it. Thank you!