Good Fruit Bad Fruit Part 1: My first foray into fiction

A love letter to BYU Celeste in the form of a fictional story about Parker, an upstanding BYU student and his free spirited new girlfriend Alyssa. This is Part 1 of 4.

A few weeks ago I woke up from a dream where I was teaching a BYU boy about God. It was the kind of dream that sticks with you.

That morning I jotted down some dialogue I remembered, and as I was writing, a short story separate from my dream began to form in my mind.

Wouldn’t that be kind of fun and cathartic to write a fictional story saying all the things I wish I could have told myself as a college student? Like about how God isn’t mad at you all the time and how it’s ok to have fun and how you don’t have to feel like a dirty harlot for wanting to kiss your boyfriend?? Like that?

I mentioned it to my husband that night and we started riffing on how a manic pixie mormon dream girl could save her straight-laced boyfriend from sexual shame and a bully God.

I got excited and started writing more. Turns out it was a lot of fun writing fiction. But actually posting it sounded too scary. I needed some courage, so I took my Instagram stories to see if anyone would be interested to read my fictional story. And some people were interested.

Thank you if you were one of those people who sent their encouragement!

So here we are. My first piece of fiction. This installment is one of four. This is the intro were our two love birds meet.

Hope you enjoy it! (and if you do please tell me in the comments, because new things are scary things and a few kind words will be ESPECIALLY appreciated! Thanks.)

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“Rough estimate- what percentage of the ladies in your ward are potential eternal life companion material?” Parker texted Steven.

It was 10:25 am on a Sunday, and Parker was still in bed.

“Like 5? It’s bleak out here man. Why?” Steven texted back.

“Slept in. Missed my ward. Thought I’d maximize my chances to run into my soul mate with a little research into which friend I join for church.”

“I cannot promise you a wife, but I can promise inappropriate commentary should I win.”

“You had me at inappropriate. When and where?”

“Tanner building lobby. 1:00pm.”

“See you then.”

Steven had been the only one he texted, but Parker was thrilled with his choice as it meant two more hours of sleep. He set his alarm for 12:30pm and went back to sleep.

……………….

A few hours later Parker and Steven were sitting in the classroom that served as Sunday school. They were sitting in rows of individual desks like they were in second grade, not gospel doctrine. Steven had led them to sit on the row closest to the door towards the back.

This week, the lesson was on the story of the Prodigal Son.

Parker kind of tried to pay attention, but he was still groggy from sleeping in and was intimately fantasizing about what his mom was cooking for dinner. Sundays meant he drove from his apartment just south of BYU to Lehi for family dinner.

Whatever was on the menu this week, dinner time could not come fast enough.

His food dream bubble was popped by a girl sitting in the front row up in the corner.

“Ok, hold up,” she said. She didn’t raise her hand. ”We know God is like nice, right?” she implored the occupants of the room by looking around behind her. Her tone was un-Sunday School enough that Steven noticed many of his fellow classmates awaking from their respective day dreams too.

“Like God gives us the opportunity to repent in the next life right? Seems like an awful waste of a baller gift if we do ALL of our repenting here. Also, I think in this story God is saying it’s ok to live a little. To me he's saying, 'Guys, chill. I’m gonna throw you a banger party either way, so why not live dammit!’” She hit the table with her fist when she said “live dammit!” Parker had never heard anyone cuss before in Sunday school, and he could not control the snort that erupted out of him. Or his big goofy grin. Quickly, he realized he seemed to be alone in his delight.

Everyone else seemed to squirm uncomfortably.

The wide-eyed terror in the teacher’s eyes made Parker laugh even more as the teacher- probably a recently returned missionary - awkwardly tried to sway the discussion far away from the girl’s freshly issued permission slip to sin.

Even though they were sitting right next to each other Parker texted Steven, “Who. Is. That.”

Steven leaned over and whispered, “I don’t know her name, but I would stay far, far away.”

“Why?” Parker whispered back.

“Dude. You just heard her. She’s always saying stuff like that. Just trying to stir the pot for attention.” Steven's eyes flicked upward in a mini eye roll.

Parker dropped it, but he couldn’t stop looking at her. She was wearing a black dress with big sunflowers on it. It looked like something his sister would have worn when she was a kid.

He wondered how manufactured her effortlessly cool vibe was. He decided to assume it was natural.

By the time church was over, Parker had fully filled in all of mystery girl’s character traits, fatal flaws and cereal preferences.

He had to meet her.

Steven would clearly be no help.

As class ended and they got up, Steven said, “Sorry my ward is not overflowing with girlfriend potential. Told you.”

Parker clapped his hand on Steven's shoulder and responded, “Happens to the best of us. Thanks for the company.”

“Later,” Steven said over his shoulder as he headed out.

“Bye," Parker said.

Parker walked away slowly, purposefully wandering in and out of groups of people on his way to the door of the Tanner building. He looked and looked, but mystery girl was nowhere to be found.

…………………

As luck would have it, about three weeks later Parker was in the WILK at a dance with three of his roommates. They almost didn't go because school dances were for freshman and typically lame, but they couldn't think of anything better to do.

They had been there a few minutes, just walking around when he saw her. Mystery girl.

She was dancing like she didn't have a care in the world. Her eyes were closed. She was wearing another sun dress with flowers on it.

Parker tried not to be creepy, but his eyes kept wandering over of their own accord. Steven's words were fresh in his mind, "she just wants attention." Is that it? Is this a bit? Is she hoping guys like him will keep looking at her? Or is she just having fun? Does she actually not care what anyone thinks of her? Or does she care a lot? Either way, she looked like she was having a great time.

A lover of puzzles, Parker felt a strong need to solve this one. The next slow song, he made his way over.

"Excuse me. Would you like to dance or is that too status quo for you?" Parker said as he opened his arms toward her in a question.

"Mormon couples heterosexually swaying to slow music is rather status quo," mystery girl said stoically, "but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it." She smiled.

It was a lovely smile.

"It can be rather pleasant," Parker said as he took her hand and wrapped his other hand around her back.

"It can," she said as they started to find their rhythm together.

"I'm Parker."

"Alyssa. Pleasure."

"Likewise."

"Parker what's your full name?"

"Parker James Sullivan."

"Parker Jane Sullivan?

"James"

"No, I definitely heard Jane."

"Well, it's definitely James."

"Ok, Parker Jane."

The flirtation was thick and immediate, and after a minute into the song Parker couldn't help eliciting her assistance in solving his puzzle outright. "I must ask you Alyssa," he started. "Do you always dance like a grandmother alone in her garden or is this a new thing for you?"

"No, I must admit, I cosplay grannie in the garden on the regular."

"Hence the sunflower dress."

"Hence the sunflower dress."

"And do you just pretend not to care what others are thinking about you or do you actually not care?"

"Little bit of both I would imagine. I don't know I'm the best one to make that call. I'm too close to the object to be objective."

"Sure. Well, if I may, my objectivity is available and willing to be of service. I can offer my hypothesis upon obtaining more data."

"That's very kind of you, but I fear the Hawthorne effect may come into play here."

"Ah yes, the act of my observation may affect what is being observed, but being the scientists we are, what other choice do we have but to observe? Futile as it may be."

The song was ending. Parker and Alyssa dropped the slow dance stance, but remained standing just as close.

"Alright then, scientist, I accept your futile services. Observe away and let me know your conclusion," Alyssa said backing away.

"Will do, I'll report back my findings at the end of the night."

Parker saluted and walked away.

Thankfully Parker lost his friends somewhere in the crowd, so he made his way over to the row of chairs against the wall near the stage. He purposefully chose one tucked away, kind of hidden. The rest of the night would see him leaning forward in his chair, notebook in hand, fervently taking notes on his observations of Alyssa throughout the night.

Alyssa for her part didn't stand right in front of him, but tended to keep within his line of vision. He especially loved when she looked over and laughed at him looking especially pensive and observant.

While Alyssa continued to dance, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone, Parker could tell, the Hawthorne effect was indeed playing its part. He could feel she was aware of his gaze. She wasn't quite as obliviously in her own world as she was before.

But Parker liked that better. He liked that she was aware of his awareness.

At the end of the night, Paul, one of Parker's roommates came back up to him and said, "Hey man, ready to go?"

"Nah, you guys head out, I'll see ya at home," Parker said not taking his eyes off of Alyssa. Paul followed her gaze and said, "You hoping to make your move on that hipster girl? You've been watching her like a creeper all night."

"I know," Parker laughed, "but she is in on it. Yeah, we'll see what happens." Parker shrugged. Paul shrugged and said, "Alright man, see ya at home."

When the lights had turned back on, Parker walked up to Alyssa, ripped out three pages of notes from his notebook and handed them to her. "As promised, my field notes and findings."

Alyssa broke into the biggest grin he had seen yet and said, "And? Am I a phony?"

"Hmm, unfortunately, the evidence was inconclusive. I'm afraid further research is needed,” Parker said.

"Hm."

"Hm."

"That's too bad. Research is time consuming," Alyssa said.

"Well, the good news is, I've got time. I'm nothing if not thorough. Can I give you a ride home?"

"Ok Parker Jane. I'm pretty close- want to walk?"

"I'd love that."

Alyssa said goodbye to her friends and Parker and Alyssa start walking out together.

Once the crowd cleared and they were mostly alone walking down the sidewalk, Parker said, "Right, how about some demographics. Please state your full name, age, place of birth, number of siblings and favorite ice cream flavor for the record."

"Alyssa Jane Rosamund...." Alyssa side eyed Parker and smirked. He returned the knowing grin. "Jane is a great middle name," he said.

"I agree," Alyssa continued, "and for the record, my name is Alyssa Jane Rosamund, I am 21 years old. Born in Bethesda, Maryland. No siblings. And Butter Pecan."

"Butter Pecan? Are you my grandpa?"

"Oh right, I forgot to mention, I am also your paternal grandfather."

"Born and raised in Bethesda or did you move?"

"Born and bred."

"An east coast girl. You're a long way from home little lady."

"Indeed I am. And I prefer to be called large lady. How about you Parker? Same questions please."

"Well, you already know my name. I also happen to be 21."

"Ooh! When's your birthday?"

"July 29th."

"Ah a Leo. That tracks"

"What's that supposed to mean?

"It would explain the confidence. And the penchant for romance."

"Wow, you're going to emasculate me so early in this courtship?"

"On the contrary, confidence and a big heart? What could be more masculine?"

"Nicely recovered. And when is your birthday Miss Rosamund?"

"June 2nd. A gemini."

"Excuse my ignorance when it comes to zodiacs, but I have to imagine that Geminis are also confident and big hearted? Because I feel outshone on both accounts."

"More like free spirited."

"Well that certainly tracks."

"I can't change the stars. Ok Parker, you haven't finished with your demographics yet."

"Right, so I'm 21. Born in this exotic land called Lehi."

"Leee-hiiii. Is that in the Andes?"

"Close. It's in the far-off land of the Wasatch front."

"Born and raised?"

"Born and raised."

"Siblings?"

"I am third of five. Three brothers. One younger sister. And my favorite ice cream is the only correct answer...... salted caramel."

"Hold up - Why the shade of butter pecan? It's basically salted caramel with pleasant crunchy bits."

"Because I don't live in the 1920s."

"Careful, you're losing your big-hearted status."

"Alyssa, I'm afraid the stars have spoken. Now, were you born and raised in the church?"

"Raised yes, born, no. My mom joined when I was a baby."

"Not your dad?"

"No. Well, actually. Maybe. Who knows?! I've never met him. He left my mom when she was pregnant. We never heard from him again. My mom doesn't come from money so it was rough for her. She found the church and they gave her support and a community when she really needed both. My ward is like my family."

"Wow, sorry about your dad."

Alyssa shrugged and said, "I've never known any different. My mom doesn't think he would have made a great father if he had been around anyway. She wasn't ever too hung up about him. They weren't really together- more like a casual hook up. Could have used the child support though."

"So 18 years in Bethesda, then onto BYU?"

"No, I've only been at BYU this semester actually. I stayed for a year with my mom after high school and then served a mission."

"Nice! Where'd you go?"

"Illinois."

"A state-side sis! Jealous!"

"Jealous of Illinois? Why?"

"I went to Germany. I'm jealous of all those sweet, sweet baptisms you must have scored."

"Ah. I think your jealousy is misplaced then. I only taught one person who got baptized, and may I be honest with you Parker?"

"You may. In fact, that would be my preference."

"I regret his baptism. I'd take it back if I could."

"What why?"

"It was early in my mission. I was young and foolish. I hadn't yet learned why I was there."

"and why were you there?"

"I was there to learn from people, not teach them. I thought at the time that I was there to teach, so I preached instead of listened, gave answers instead of asked questions, taught them to trust me instead of themselves, insisted I knew what their path should be better than they did. It was a costly lesson. Thankfully I learned it relatively early on."

Turning away from the flirtatious tone for a minute Parker said, "Well, I mean, you gave this man the greatest gift you could possibly offer- eternal life. There's no need to regret that even if you didn't teach it perfectly."

Alyssa didn't respond, she just looked at him for a minute then said, "Tell me about your mission Parker."

"Well, we're even steven in terms of baptisms. I got one. But it was towards the end. I thought I was going to go home with none. But mine was a really good experience. One of the most meaningful of my life actually."

"I'm glad. Tell me about him."

"Leon was his name. He was close to my age- about 20. Just feeling lost in life, had just gone through a bad breakup, didn't like his job, wasn't sure what his next steps were. Then one day, he sat down at a bench next to us at a park. We started talking, he agreed to take the lessons. And he was just ready, ya know? It was like a miracle. Meeting him when we did."

"I love that feeling."

"What feeling?"

"Meeting someone and it feeling like a miracle."

Shy grins emerged on both of them, and they walked in silence for a while until they reached the front door of Alyssa's apartment.

"Well, this is me," Alyssa said.

Parker can’t hide his desire to see her again as soon as possible. He said, "Alyssa, normally I would play it cool, maybe text you in the next few days, wait a while then ask you out after a socially appropriate waiting period. But I get the impression you are not one for playing socially appropriate games."

"Your skill at observation is truly unmatched."

"Alyssa, I would love to see you tomorrow, can I come by after church?"

"You may."

............................

The next day, Parker wakes up in time for his 9:00am church, and afterward he waits impatiently for 3:30 to roll around so he can go to Alyssa's apartment.

At last it comes. He shoots her a text saying that he is on his way.

He is thinking they can just hang out at her apartment, maybe go for a walk, but as he opens the door Alyssa is in a tank top and leggings.

Parker smiles and says, "Hello Alyssa- headed to the gym?"

"Hello Parker Jane. No, I always go hiking on Sundays. I thought we could go together today."

Parker is still in his shirt and tie from church. "Right, I'm just a little overdressed."

Parker wasn't expecting to hike today, but he tries to roll with it. They drive back to his apartment so he can change.

As he is changing into gym shorts and a t-shirt, he admits to himself he feels a little weird about it. He can't think of a time he has ever hiked on Sunday. But it's probably fine. It's just like walking, but in the woods. It's fine.

He tries to put it out of his mind. No big deal, but as they get out of the car at the trailhead, he keeps looking over his shoulder, hoping no one he knows sees him.

Pretty soon though, he's lost in conversation with Alyssa. It's a beautiful day, and despite himself he has a great time hiking.

Time zips by as they converse easily the entire hike. Soon it's 5:00 - usually when he heads home for Sunday family dinner. They are just reaching his car after hiking down. Parker feels torn- he doesn't want to say goodbye to Alyssa just yet, but he's also never one to turn down Sunday family dinner. His mom will be expecting him.

"Hey, so crazy idea and you can totally say no," he says.

"Ok, what's up?" Alyssa asks.

"Ok, so we have a tradition in the exotic land of Lehi to eat together as a family every Sunday night." Parker says.

"You're a wild bunch."

"Truly and I usually head up there around this time.......... You wouldn't by chance want to come with me this week?? I know it's a little soon into..... whatever this is ..... to be meeting the parents, but I promise they're cool."

"I'm sure they are. I would be honored to dine with them if they'll have me."

"Really?! Ok, cool! Yeah I'm sure they'd love having you. I bring friends over all the time. And they'll extra love that it is a lady friend. Let me just text my mom." He smiles.

Parker shoots off a text asking if he can bring a friend, and his mom immediately texts back "of course."

"She responded, 'of course.'"

"Great! Let's go!" Alyssa says getting into the car.

Parker hesitates as he realizes they are in their exercise clothes. He always goes to Sunday dinner in his church clothes. It's not important, it's just what they do.

When they are both in the car Parker says, "Right, should we change first?"

"I mean, that would add 45 more minutes probably. I'm fine in this, but if it's important to you we can go back and change."

Parker stalls trying to think of his family's reaction if they didn't change. Eventually he says, "I mean, do you think you would want a sweater?"

Alyssa replies, "Parker, it's like 80 degrees out."

"Right....... um, its just...... well....... my mom's gonna be there today, ya know?"

"Yes, you mentioned her. Is she concerned for my body warmth on this sunny afternoon?"

"It's just..... this is your first time meeting, and I think you might want to make a good impression... I mean, I know you will, and everyone will love you, I just don't want them getting the wrong idea about you because you're not wearing sleeves….."

"And they will surely find out I'm a dirty liar and a cheat because my sleeves weren't hemmed two inches longer?"

"Alyssa, come on. You know, you've been through the temple, they will be expecting you to be wearing your garments. I just want them to know you are this awesome spiritual powerhouse, that you and God are good."

"Parker, God knows about my shoulders. God put them there and then declared them good. I don't think God is ashamed of them."

"Ok, ok. I just don't want them to judge you without getting to know you."

"Parker Jane have you ever heard the Buddhist tale of the two monks crossing a river."

Parker sighs and says, "Can't say that I have Alyssa."

"Lets rectify that immediately. It's a good one. So, one day two monks were traveling together and they came to a river with a strong current they needed to cross. They noticed a pretty young lass already there who also needed to cross the river. She turned to them and asked if they could help her cross to the other side. But danger Will Robinson! An important part of their monky vows

"Monkey vows?"

"Monkly vows thank you - had been to never touch a woman! What a conundrum! Whatever were they to do Parker?

"Enlighten me."

"Well, without any fanfare, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side and went on his way. Well, as you can imagine, the younger monk's jaw was on the floor. He didn't say anything, but he was mighty huffy for the next hour. He ended up stewing about it silently for the next three hours. Finally he blurted out 'you know we are not permitted to touch a woman! How could you carry her?!" Then, the older monk drops this absolute banger of a line- he looks at the younger monk and says, 'Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?'" Alyssa raises her eyebrows impressively and nods, "I mean mic drop, right?"

"Its pretty good," Parker concedes.

"Parker, if your mother wants to carry judgment about my shoulders with her, that is her journey and it is none of my business. But I do not choose to pick up and carry her potential judgment of me. You can carry that worry on your journey if you want, but I've found frolicking through the woods without carrying the weight of other people's judgments to be much more pleasant."

Parker smiles. "You are impossible to argue with, you know that?"

Alyssa says, "I'm just well practiced."

Parker agrees, "Can't argue with that."

....................

The night ends up going great. Parker explains a little awkwardly that they had been hiking, but it smoothes over quickly. Everyone gets along great with Alyssa and she especially hits it off with his younger brother Isaac and his sister Katelyn.

Seeing her interact so well with his family puts some futuristic images in Parker's head and suddenly the relationship is progressing much further than he could have envisioned just a few days ago.

.........................

The next day Parker has biology class with Steven and figures he better get it over with and tell Steven about Alyssa.

After class Parker says, “Hey you remember that girl in your ward? I asked you her name during Sunday school but you didn’t know?”

“That crazy girl who dresses like my grandma? Yeah I remember,” Steven says looking at Parker suspiciously, “Why?”

Parker says, “Wellllll, her name is Alyssa and…. kind of we’re dating.”

“What?! Bro, you’re kidding.”

“Nope, turns out, she’s really cool. She met my family yesterday.”

“Whoa! Ok, ok, I take back the grandma thing.”

“No, she does dress like your grandma,” Parker laughs, “but she owns it.”

Their backpacks are on and they are walking out of the building now. Parker can tell Steven has something on his mind, but he’s not sure he wants to know what.

Once they are out of the building Steven says, “Hey man, not to be weird but….Alyssa's been through the temple yeah?"

"Yeah she served a mission, why?"

"Um, its just…. she doesn't seem to wear her garments much? Like she lives near me and I see her around a lot."

".......I mean, I dunno. Some girls like work out and then keep their work out clothes on."

"yeah man, these aren't work out clothes tho."

Parker shrugs, "Yeah, I don't know."

Steven nods, "Just want to look out for you man. I don't want to see you fall too hard for a girl you can't take to the temple ya know?"

Parker shakes his head, "Oh no, it's not like that. Alyssa's cool. She strong. She's always talking about God and stuff."

Steven cuts him off, "Yeah, but I'm in her ward bro, and her God stuff..... I just don't know how faithful she really is."

Parker looks away starting to get annoyed, and tries to think of a way to end the conversation.

Steven: "Look, it’s just - the same thing happened to my sister. First she got all annoyed about polygamy, then started getting all into Heavenly Mother, then …… she left the church."

Parker now clearly annoyed. "Alyssa's not your sister."

Steven puts his hands up and says"Ok, ok. Consider it dropped. I just want you to be happy."

Parker: "I AM happy."

Steven: "Ok. Good."

Parker says, “look man, I’ll see ya later,” and walks away.

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Thanks for reading! Stay tuned next week for Part 2!