I am lying on a hard wood floor of a mostly empty house that we have moved out of. I have to get it ready to sell. I am exhausted. I cannot clean another inch. At least not right now. I am constantly trying to make sure this move is working for all my kids, my husband, and myself. I just realized this is the time that my church community would step in and help, but I left that community and moved away from family. It is very very lonely.
I am so tired. There are days that I want to just sink into my mattress, to be swallowed up deep down where no one can find me. I have 10 children that I love and adore, an amazing husband, and a bakery that is our family business, oh, and I homeschool. I love my family!!! But I feel exhausted to my bones, I don’t want to have to DO anything ever again. As a sixth generation Mormon, I have developed an allergy to checklists, and to meritocracy. I can’t do it anymore. All I want to do is stay in bed and read. I want to learn what I want to learn and only do the things that I really want to do. Sometimes I just think about escaping from all of it, and how glorious it would be to just live by myself in a tower like Rapunzel in the movie Tangled. I don’t exactly know how to continue functioning or how to heal. But, I feel the words that you write, and I weep because someone, that I have never met, understands me.
Oh Martha! GENERATIONS of women understand you! I COMPLETELY understand your dream of living alone and just doing the things that only you want to do every day! Start saying no to things you don't want to do! You know deep inside yourself what those things are. As you slowly say no to the things you don't want and yes to the things you do want, you will find your life becomes more your own. AND, hang in there, sounds like you are in the thick of a very busy time in your life with 10 children, homeschool and a family business♥️
I loved this so much. The isolation forced upon us is rage inducing, but you are right, we are not alone. Thank you for writing this. Your words are pure fire, crackling in just the way my soul needed this morning.
This is a beautifully written honest essay that echoes the voices if so many women right now. Thank you for sharing... Keep it up! It is so cathartic to know we are not alone in our quest to create a better world than one run by patriarchy.
I am lying on a hard wood floor of a mostly empty house that we have moved out of. I have to get it ready to sell. I am exhausted. I cannot clean another inch. At least not right now. I am constantly trying to make sure this move is working for all my kids, my husband, and myself. I just realized this is the time that my church community would step in and help, but I left that community and moved away from family. It is very very lonely.
I am so tired. There are days that I want to just sink into my mattress, to be swallowed up deep down where no one can find me. I have 10 children that I love and adore, an amazing husband, and a bakery that is our family business, oh, and I homeschool. I love my family!!! But I feel exhausted to my bones, I don’t want to have to DO anything ever again. As a sixth generation Mormon, I have developed an allergy to checklists, and to meritocracy. I can’t do it anymore. All I want to do is stay in bed and read. I want to learn what I want to learn and only do the things that I really want to do. Sometimes I just think about escaping from all of it, and how glorious it would be to just live by myself in a tower like Rapunzel in the movie Tangled. I don’t exactly know how to continue functioning or how to heal. But, I feel the words that you write, and I weep because someone, that I have never met, understands me.
Oh Martha! GENERATIONS of women understand you! I COMPLETELY understand your dream of living alone and just doing the things that only you want to do every day! Start saying no to things you don't want to do! You know deep inside yourself what those things are. As you slowly say no to the things you don't want and yes to the things you do want, you will find your life becomes more your own. AND, hang in there, sounds like you are in the thick of a very busy time in your life with 10 children, homeschool and a family business♥️
Thank you Carol.
I loved this so much. The isolation forced upon us is rage inducing, but you are right, we are not alone. Thank you for writing this. Your words are pure fire, crackling in just the way my soul needed this morning.
Beautiful and all-too relatable
This is a beautifully written honest essay that echoes the voices if so many women right now. Thank you for sharing... Keep it up! It is so cathartic to know we are not alone in our quest to create a better world than one run by patriarchy.
Beautiful 🩷
oh wow
Thank you for this. This is such truth, sadly.
Beautifully written. Thank you.